Sometimes I am just in awe at how the Lord will lead me to a song that I never even knew existed, and it will speak right to my heart. I don’t waste much time telling God how I am feeling, He already knows. Right now I am somewhere I have never been before, and just trying to figure it out day by day. My natural instinct is to stay strong, stay positive, and look for the silver lining. But then, there is the part of me that is scared to death of losing my Angel. I have been out on my own since I was 16 years old, but I have never lived alone. I married for the first time at 18, had my first son at 19, second at 22, and from 23-26 raised my boys on my own. Married my Angel at 26, had Jess at 28, and Janice and I have been together for over 26 years. I have no idea how to be single. All I have ever done was to take care of my family, and I hate that something I have spent a lifetime building may be coming to an end.
So, I bring these feelings into the presence of God, and the first song that catches my attention is, “One Day You Will.” As I am listening to these lyrics,
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can’t see it now
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there’s a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won’t be much longer
You’ll find love, you’ll find peace
And the you you’re meant to be
I know right now that’s not the way you feel
But one day you will
it’s as if the Lord is singing them straight to my heart, and the sadness is replaced with hope. I am reminded to hold on to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I have to trust in that! I have to trust, whether my Angel finishes this journey with me or not, I have to keep moving, keep growing, keep my eyes on Jesus, as He continues to lead me down my destined path. I am reminded that right now is not the time to be sad, to be grieving, to be planning her funeral, while she is still with me. Right now, every morning she wakes up is a great day, and how we spend each day is up to me. Whether she’s having a good day or not, my mission does not change; I am to love her with all I have, for EVERY second God allows her to stay with me.
For those of you, who are where I am; let’s get through this thing together. I was chatting with a sweet sister in the Lord yesterday, who is going through struggles of her own, yet she was just as worried about me, as I was about her. I suppose that’s the way it should be. Sometimes we get so focused on our own problems that we forget, there are others hurting too. Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” We have to always remember, we are many parts of one body (1 Corinthians 12:12 ff), and when we come together and love one another, the way Jesus taught us to in John 13:34-35, we never have to go through a single struggle alone.
I pray you all have an amazing Friday, and as David Ching would say, “Let’s get your smile on”; the weekend is almost here!
From my heart to yours!